Support for Survivors
Being a victim of a sexual offence is never your fault and it is important to put your wellbeing first.
Rape Crisis England & Wales is the umbrella body for a network of independent Rape Crisis Centres.
All our member Centres provide specialist support and services for victims and survivors of sexual violence.
A Streatham Campus Society - We want every survivor to know we are here for them, and there are others on campus who they can reach out to.
As well as tackling a serious topic, we will be hosting socials through the term for our members to relax and get to know each other in a fun environment that is open to all!
Sexual assault referral centres offer medical, practical and emotional support to anyone who has been sexually assaulted or raped. They have specially trained to paediatricians / Forensic Nurse Examiners (FNE) and support workers to care for you.
RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization and leading authority on sexual violence. We are a dynamic organization comprised of experts in victim services, public education, public policy, consulting services, and technology. Our team works together to provide best-in-class services for survivors, inform and educate the nation about sexual violence, and improve the public policy and criminal justice response to sexual violence.
First Light is a charity supporting people in Cornwall, Devon and Wiltshire who have been affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence. In 2017 Twelves Company and Skoodyha merged to become First Light. We are independent of statutory agencies, including the Police, and every year we help thousands of adults and children in the South West to lead safer lives, free from violence and abuse.
Specialist domestic abuse support services, national helplines and other resources.
Pharmacies across the country providing Safe Spaces in their consultation rooms for people experiencing domestic abuse.
How to Support Survivors
Supporting a survivor of sexual violence can be daunting. You might be afraid of saying or doing 'the wrong thing'. But you don't have to be an expert.
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The most important thing you can do is to listen, and let the person who's confiding in you tell you what they need.
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Listen
Listen - and show you're listening - to what they have to say, even if it's difficult for you to hear.
You might have lots of questions but try not to interrupt.
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Let them stay in control
Sexual abuse, rape or any kind of sexual violence can make a person feel powerless and 'out of control'. Survivors want and deserve to feel in charge of their own lives again.
It's important to resist the temptation to 'take over', for example by arranging and doing things that you think are best. Instead, support her/him to explore their feelings and options and make their own decisions.
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Respect their decisions
Respect their choices, even if you don't think they're the ones you'd make in their situation.
Doing things for a survivor (like making an appointment on their behalf without checking that's what they want first) can end up making things worse, even when you were only trying to help.
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Be patient
Many survivors find it difficult to trust others because of their experiences, especially if they've not been believed in the past.
At the same time, if someone you know has told you that they were abused or raped, they've put trust in you. Try to repay that trust by being patient and don't push for them to tell you anything before they're ready.
It might not be easy for them to start talking about experiences they might have stayed silent about for a long time. It might be difficult because their abuser told them not to tell or threatened them. They might feel ashamed or responsible. They might be traumatised.
If it's your partner who's experienced sexual violence, whether recently or in the past, they might find intimacy and sexual contact difficult. Sometimes they might not even want you physically close, and other times they might seek extra physical comfort from you. Try to remember that this is not a reflection on you or your relationship. It's about your partner's experiences and feelings.
Reassure them, respect their wishes and be patient.
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Believe them
People rarely lie about rape or sexual abuse. Why would they? It's important to believe what they're saying even if it's difficult for you to hear.
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Remember it's not their fault
No-one asks to be abused, assaulted or raped. No survivor should ever be blamed for not preventing their own abuse. The blame lies with the perpetrator.
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Recognise their courage
It takes a lot of strength and courage to survive and to talk about experiences of sexual violence. Acknowledge that.
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Don't ask why they didn't say anything sooner
They might have tried to tell before and been ignored or not believed. They might have been threatened or too scared to say anything. They might have felt ashamed or blocked out events too painful to think about.
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Don't judge
It's important to be accepting of the way they are reacting, even if it's not what you were expecting or not the way you think you'd respond to a similar experience. It's best to get rid of any ideas you have of how a person who has been raped 'should' behave and accept their reactions as their own and valid.
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Don't ask them why they didn't fight back
This will only make them feel judged or even blamed for what happened.
Rape and sexual violence can be terrifying experiences. People react in different ways. It's very common to freeze, or for our bodies to 'flop' or go limp.
Remember to take care of yourself as well. Supporting a survivor can be difficult and it's OK to take time and space for yourself sometimes.
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